Standing in my Power

I have felt a bit frozen lately. I am the type of woman that always has a million things going on at once, in both my professional and personal life. But despite being notoriously busy, and hard working, I still feel stuck in a state of limbo. I have spent my whole life with a fire in my soul, knowing I have a purpose. Feeling like I am always on the verge of something great, with lots of passion and ideas, but never seeming to be able to satisfy that fire enough to feel worthy of whatever my purpose is. When reflecting to approach a better understanding of my needs and goals, I struggle with defining myself. Perhaps this is because over the years, I have let many others do this for me. This has taken it's toll on my perception and understanding of myself. I have been called difficult, an extrovert, an introvert, shy, loud, boring, fun, intelligent, dumb, too nice, too trusting, kind, caring, too guarded, selfish, weak, strong, an amazing parent, an irresponsible parent, a worrier, a warrior, an incredible friend and a b*%tch. Just to name a few! I have been confident and a quivering mess. I have endured pain and hurt both physically and mentally from others, and intentionally or not I have inflicted hurt onto others. With some of my favourite quotes usually said to me in passive aggressive tones of " Oh, I didn't think you were like/into that" or "That's not the type of person I thought you were!" or the threatened by growth statement, "You've changed, I preferred who you were before". So who am I? I am a woman who is learning, and juggling many different roles in life, raised in communities with societal gender expectations. I am beginning to understand that being vulnerable is not a weakness and that toxic behaviours or opinions of others should not define my emotional or professional growth. Recently I have been finding myself in life changing situations, some positive and some emotionally exhausting. However, I am constantly trying to frame my thoughts to have gratitude, look at different perspectives and embrace as much knowledge as possible. Having the opportunity that comes from being privileged enough to have a voice and access to platforms to share knowledge is a powerful tool, and I am grateful. The most important lessons I feel I have learned in the last 2 years is that patience is not just about waiting, but enduring without giving up hope. It is about giving myself permission to stand in my own power and not the judgement and expectations of others. This is who I am. A woman standing in my power, embracing all the experiences life gives me, taking opportunities and reminding myself never to give up hope. I hope this resonates with some of you and you remind yourself to stand in your own power. Our lives are our own, and nobody has the right to make anyone feel less than they are.